Ever feel like you are running between school, friends, a job, and band practice? Does the mere mention of an exam or presentation send you running in circles? Like it or not, stress is a part of life. It can be a good thing that kick-starts us into doing something (would you really study for that exam if you didn’t have stress to get you started?). But too much can be harmful, especially if you are under a lot of stress for long periods of time.
The best strategy for dealing with stress is to first recognize how stress affects you (because everyone experiences it in a different way) and then figure out ways to help you manage it. If you learn to manage the stress in your life, you are less likely to feel overwhelmed by it.
Recognizing Stress
We all react to stress in different ways and not everyone gets stressed out by the same things. For young people, major sources of stress may include peer pressure, trust issues, friendships, boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, gossip, parents' expectations, after school jobs, juggling your time, or worries about how well you do in school or in sports.
Signs of excessive stress include:
- Headaches
- Feeling sick or tired
- Digestive problems (Diarrhea or constipation)
- Problems sleeping
- Feeling tense, sore neck or back muscles
- Feeling nervous
- Eating too much or too little
- Lack of motivation
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Becoming easily upset or angry
- Crying
- Increased use of alcohol and other drugs
- Inability to concentrate
Strategies for coping
It may not be possible to remove the stress from your life, but it is possible to manage your stress levels. Here are some ideas. Choose and practice those that fit your symptoms and needs.
Things To Do
- Talk to Friends or Parents
You may find that what stresses you out, also affects your friends. Find someone who will listen to you, give yourself a good rant about what it is that’s bothering you. You may find as you talk about it, you will start to see solutions or get new ideas for resolving it. Just being able to get it off your chest can also make a huge difference in making you feel better.
If you are feeling stressed you may need to take your mind off things for a while. Hanging out with friends is one way of doing that.
Take slow deep breaths. Do things that you find relaxing. Dance, walk the dog, read a book, listen to music, partake in some aromatherapy (lavender works very well), or meditate. Or try this relaxation technique before you go to bed (link to http://www.mentalhealthaddictions.bc.ca/content/disorders/anxietydisorders.pdf)
Exercising can be a good way of relieving stress. It helps to get rid of all that pent up energy and can leave you feeling much calmer. Any sort of exercise can be good so take the dog for a walk, run, play a game or head to the gym.
Change of thinking
- Review Successes Review your accomplishments and your positive qualities. Build up your self-confidence.
- Positive self talk Use the power of your mind to help yourself relax. When you notice signs of stress you can use positive statements like ‘just relax’ or ‘I’m not going to let it bother me’. Talking positively to yourself helps you focus on your strengths.
- Focus on one thing If you feel overwhelmed because there’s too much to do (e.g. school work, extra-curricular activities, etc), one of the first steps to ‘de-stressing’ is to organize, then prioritize what has to be done. Stop and focus on one small piece of whatever it is that is overwhelming. Once that piece is done, focus on another small piece. Tackle it one step at a time and before you know it, it seems much more manageable.
Get to the Source
- Look at the cause Look at the underlying causes of stress. Don’t ignore or try and hide stress. Often stress will not go away unless you make some changes or learn new ways to cope.
- Deal with anger It is okay to get angry and it is healthy to express anger as long as it does not hurt anybody or damage anything. If anger is not expressed, it can lead to stress. Write, paint, stomp your feet, scream into a pillow, go for a run or talk to someone.
- Set realistic goals Becoming over-stressed may make it harder to keep things in perspective. Setting realistic goals and priorities and time management may be useful ways of managing your stress.
Still Feeling Stressed?
If you do these things and you still feel overwhelmed and find it hard to carry on with day to day stuff, then you may want help from an adult or health professional that you trust. Excessive stress can lead to problems which can affect your health. Also, feeling always or too much stressed can be the sign of anxiety problems. Don’t be afraid to seek help from professionals who can help you deal with the stress and anxiety problems in your life. Try talking to a school counselor, doctor, nurse, youth worker or relative.
Other Sources for Information
Kids Help Phone
1-800-668-6868
Dealing with Depression
http://kidshelp.sympatico.ca/en/resources/sub_depressed.asp
Here is some great youth-friendly information about the symptoms of depression, what causes it and how you can treat it.
I feel down (FAQ)
Here’s some youth-focused information on depression
Canadian Network of Mood and Anxiety Treatments
http://www.canmat.org/index.shtml